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I’ve kept this domain for a few years now, but I haven’t used it in quite a while.

Is there a need in the world for public musings? Should I share what I know? Is there a need, in me or in others, for thinking-out-loud? I rarely post to Facebook, and never to Instagram or Twitter anymore. I can justify staying on Facebook for the sake of buying advertising for church events. (I use Facebook to find upcoming events, so I assume others do as well.) I have a harder time justifying other public sharing, perhaps because of the vulnerability “stuff”. I’m called to be vulnerable and open, since I do that to some degree in my preaching. (I certainly am not lying from the pulpit.) However, there’s a side of myself that is showing while preaching, and for only a few moments, for the sake of a short lesson. Not all of me is showing. Also, to share myself would probably require more thoughtful reflection before blurting out whatever pops into my head.

But I’m interested in vulnerability. I listened to some Brene Brown audio lectures this year, which were great. I listened to Ram Dass. I read Kenneth Leech’s Soul Friend and more from the Desert Monks. There was a lot of media that had an effect on me this year, perhaps nothing more so than This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.

Listening to so many “You Made It Weird” podcasts have also pushed my mind toward more open sharing. As Pete Holmes (the host, a professional comedian) discovered over time, the more he was honest, the more he connected with people. You can witness his growth over the course of the podcast, if you listen to older ones and the newer ones.

All this is to say that I’m finally going to experiment with some more public reflections, but I hope that such public musings can somehow be dialogical. The podcast format (at least the way Pete hosts) is compelling because you’re going deep in a conversation and being potentially vulnerable, but you’re sharing that with the public without necessarily needing feedback (or approval).

Another thing: As a pastor, I’m interested in modeling for others a thoughtful learning process. I want to model (and just plain be full of) humility. Practice makes perfect. I might as well practice out loud and in public, since my job is essentially to shepherd others. The world will benefit from more humility. Maybe this post is a small step of mine toward practicing humility in public? (But lordy lordy, how puffed up am I to think that I deserve an audience?!) Perhaps I don’t deserve an audience, but it may be worth it to me, and to others, to reflect out loud, so get things “out there” and get some perspective.

We’ll see!