Spoiler Alert…. kinda’.

At the end of the movie…. (drum up the suspense music)…..a bunch of white people survive! Congratulations humankind! All the billionaires and heads of state were able to get in some huge metal submarines and survive the destruction of the planet!

Why this made me angry: Almost none of the people who survived were the “heroes” of the film, if there really were any. There are about two or three people who showed integrity in the movie who made it onto the ships. One is white-guy John Cusak, who has to sneak on board, and another is young-black-guy Chiwetel Ejiofor, who works for the white house and has a crush on the daughter of the president (who’s played by Danny Glover—–that is, the president is played by Danny Glover, not the daughter).

And where are the survivors going when the dust clears? AFRICA! The satellite images say that some mountain range in Africa is now the highest place on earth, and the continent may never have been underwater! And of course, I’m sure they’ll be welcomed with open arms and parades of showers, because there’s nothing that the people of Africa love more than white people showing up in boats.

I hope the residents of Africa load up the cannons that are still on the coastal slave castles and blow those big metal boats to pieces.

And last but not least, the final line in the movie 2012 is about how John Cusack’s daughter no longer needs diapers. Well, we in the audience couldn’t be more proud! But you know what? That line kinda’ represented the whole movie for me, since it was a big pile of crap.

Of course, the question must be asked, “Why did you go see the movie, Brad? It says ‘We Were Warned’ right on the poster!” Well, I just wanted to see the world blow up, since us humans seem so obsessed with the idea. I didn’t think watching the end of the world would be so excruciatingly mind-numbing…..