Sign of the Apocalypse: Red Robin’s Wise Guy Burger

Oh yes, what you’ve ALL been waiting for, the debut of our semi-regular feature “Signs of the Apocalypse”!

This was just too good to pass up: The Wise Guy Burger at fast-food chain Red Robin. Now, I’ve never eaten at a Red Robin, and I now pray to God and all the saints and angels that I never will, but I saw a commercial for this, and it was freakin’ awesome.


That’s right. Fried cheese sticks on a burger. Along with pepperoni slices, banana peppers, marinara sauce and tomatoes, on top of a whitey white bun. calcuated that the Wise Guy Burger would be this good for you:

  • 1012 calories (half a day’s total)
  • 51 g fat (just shy of a day’s total)
  • 2017 mg sodium (400 mg short of a day’s total)

Oh and doesn’t it look delicious when not being shot by a professional photographer?


No. It looks like something evil. And that’s why it’s a sign of the apocalypse.

4 thoughts on “Sign of the Apocalypse: Red Robin’s Wise Guy Burger

  1. That looks disgusting. In caloric intake however, I believe there are even worse fast food choices out there. Unbelievable as that may be.

  2. You feel … awesome.

    I actually modified mine. Took off the rabbit food, added melted provolone to the top and (to really make everyone sick) placed the Red Robin steak fries on the sandwich to make a true heart attack in a basket.

    I could have eaten another.

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